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I’ve been “away” from the worlds (here and out there) for some time now, more or less a month of placidness and silence. Though I did drop a few comments on some of my friends, I could still feel and see myself “not moving” my body and wanting to just sleep rather than work. My wry smiles and grim humor have made me look a bit older, with obvious manifestations on my very dry insipid hair and pimpled imperfect face. Yes, worries and stress could make one ugly and old. I was not spared.

With the momentarily jobless status of my hubby and my shaken credibility and competence at work, I could hardly think of pleasing thoughts and happy activities. In times like this, I try not to be affected, really, but the magnanimous impact of these recent events in my life is taking its toll quite victoriously. However mighty and courageous I am to fight this particular life’s battle, exhaustion and negativity are too forceful in their goal to tumble me down. Yes, I am bent a little awkwardly, but my head is still far from the ground, my feet are still glued toward the earth, and my head is refusing to lose this battle.

My hubby just signed a new contract with a new company (a call center again). It’s been 4 days now since his first day at work. He will undergo a month of training before he could finally go live on the floor. On a daily basis, he eagerly tells me how the training went that day and how he passed the oral exam and so on. As a wife who silently, for a time being, doubted his capability to raise a young family, I am glad and pleased with his new serious determined effort to regain himself and prove to me once more that he is indeed “my man”. I could sense his enthusiasm to excel; his wounded pride has begun its healing process.

This man, my hubby, is “my man” through thick and thin. Let the whole world know that.

Meanwhile at work, my seemingly overzealousness has quite subsided. I know I am “now” doing better at work. One of my bosses approached me and told me that it’s not my fault “entirely”. The client is making criticisms unfavorably in order for them to have a suave exit. Yes, they want to pull out the project I am handling alone (other projects are being handled by more than one person). Why don’t they just say it directly and we’d be good? Fortunately, their wanting out is not because of my “errors” but because of cost-cutting. Somehow, I felt a bit vindicated.

Just this morning, a colleague asked me how am I doing. I just replied sheepishly, “Oh, I am doing great. Thanks for asking”.

How about you, how are you doing?

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